Want to fall in love so badly? Then don’t overlook how important dating practice is.

Thinking back to when I was single, there’s no denying that dating was indeed exhausting.

Honestly, with all the things we have to worry about in life, if we didn’t have a strong motivation to find a partner, this kind of laborious thing would be a real chore sometimes. But dating is not as simple as we think, and it involves a lot of aspects. Finding someone is not the only goal; dating is a necessary process before finding the right person, why?

Dating more often can help you better understand the current situation of the singles market and your own leverage in dating.

As a professional, I think the singles market is like an investment. No matter what the subject matter is, observing it from the sidelines and jumping into it yourself are definitely two different things. The difference is that in the investment market, we are just traders, but in the singles market, we have to be both traders and the target.

I think we can use “dating” as a channel to understand the market better, because only by actually participating in the singles market can we understand the investment target (who we are looking for) and the market supply and demand (what kind of person do you like and fit in?). What kind of people are attracted to your favorite type?) The following is an example of how you can understand the investment target (who you are looking for) and the supply and demand of the market (what kind of person do you like and fit? Even if the type attracted during the dating process is not your cup of tea, there is nothing to lose, you can take the opportunity to observe how they like the object, to see if they have to adjust themselves, or have to think about their own selection of the type of whether they need to be adjusted.

After understanding the market situation, dating can also let us know more about ourselves and our value in the market. Through dating and interacting with different types of people, there is an opportunity to become more aware of our own preferences and our own patterns of interaction with people.

When I was single, in order to quickly meet a large number of potential dates, I used to join my friends’ meetings, where I could meet at least ten new friends at a time, and sometimes even extend them further. Through the process of interacting and getting to know new people every time, I began to be able to figure out my own likes and dislikes of people. After all, to find out what I really like and dislike, it’s best to accumulate a certain amount of experience before I can have a benchmark for comparison.

If no one is interested in you after participating in so many activities, then you can think about where your market is and whether you need to lower the standards you have set; if there are people who want to get to know you in every bureau, then you can take this opportunity to get to know more people, have more interactions, and judge whether there is a chance to continue to develop with this person. To put it simply, by getting to know ourselves better through constant dating, we can step by step revise our positioning in the singles market.

Dating more often gives us the opportunity to practice how to get to know and get along with others

When I go out on dates, I try to get to know the other person better by talking and interacting with them. For example, by asking him what he usually does, eats, and plays, and by matching his work with that of the other person, you will have a chance to visualize his values and even the picture of their life together; the small details in the interaction are also the key moments to observe the other person. For example, if you are eating together and the other person is just there, not even helping with a napkin or cutlery, it may be a warning sign that he is self-centered and often ignores the needs of others.

Of course, if you don’t have enough foundation to get along with each other, it’s difficult to get a lot of information when you first meet, which is why “practice” is important. Through practicing dating, not only can you find a way to get to know people, but you can also detect or judge whether the other person is “over-exaggerating” or “lying” from the dating experience, thus reducing the risk of being cheated.

As for “interacting with the opposite sex”, it is also something that requires a lot of practice. In the case of job hunting, even if you are not invited to the first or second interview, you should still treat it as a good opportunity to “practice” and accumulate experience in interacting with different types of interviewers, so that when you get an interview for a job that you really want, you will be able to confidently take on the challenge and present the best side of yourself.

The same applies to interactions with the opposite sex. Without enough dating practice, it’s difficult to know how to deal with different situations, how to show our strengths to our date in the interaction process, or, we may leave a bad impression on the other party due to inexperience or nervousness.

Look beyond dating for a better chance of meeting the right person

From my observation, many people have two blind spots when dating. 1:

  1. Setting “getting off” as the only goal of dating. If you don’t have enough dating experience, it’s easy for you to get lonely and rush into a relationship once you meet someone who doesn’t seem to be that bad, and you end up either breaking up or getting into a painful relationship that doesn’t work out.
  2. I don’t understand why we need to date all the time when we only need to find “a” suitable partner. The “Dating”

Echoing the significance of dating mentioned above, the reason why I encourage more dating, more to see, is that I hope you can look at the dating vision a little farther.

I always encourage my single friends to “give yourself a chance with a second look”.

From my experience of dating over 40 people before I got married, I noticed that some people don’t stand out in a group or get noticed right away, but if you have a chance to get to know them, you’ll find that the two of you get along surprisingly well. To put it bluntly, a heartbeat is just a momentary feeling, but whether or not the two of you are compatible and whether or not you are comfortable with each other is what matters in the long run.

My own habit is that even if I don’t get a spark the first time, I’ll still go on three dates with him, and if I still don’t feel anything special, I don’t have to continue wasting each other’s time. In my case, my father-in-law is not the kind of guy who makes me feel something at first sight. However, after a few dates, I noticed a lot of good qualities in him, such as smart, thoughtful, good looking, responsible, similar family values, earning more than a million dollars a year, good lifestyle, taking care of himself and his girlfriend, etc. If I hadn’t felt the spark, I would have gone out with him for a few days, but I didn’t want to waste my time. How sad would it have been to miss out on such a great guy if I had decided not to continue dating him because there was no spark!

Of course, most dates end up being “next, please”, but even if it doesn’t work out, don’t feel like you’ve lost your investment or wasted your time and youth, because often times, “the sale is not over, and maybe the right person is among his friends”.

Logically speaking, one’s own circle of friends are usually more similar to one’s own conditions, values, and background, so it’s easier to meet someone you can get along with in the long run; and from my dating experience, I also feel that it’s easier to meet the right person for you through a friend’s introduction.

For example, my father-in-law is a friend of a female friend of a friend I don’t know very well. If I hadn’t participated in the board game activities of a friend I don’t know very well, I wouldn’t have met this girl; if I hadn’t participated in the hot party organized by this girl, I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet him at all.

The above dating rules are for your reference! Remember, “dating itself” and “practicing dating” are really more important than you think. If you want to find a good date, it’s always easier to do the work beforehand than to divorce and hurt your wallet afterwards.

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