Boys do not take the initiative = not like enough? There’s really nothing simple at all behind guys taking the initiative!

When it comes to inner theater, do you associate it with boys or girls?

Most people would probably think that it’s exclusive to women who are “delicate and think a lot”, but did you know that guys actually have moments when their inner dramas are bursting at the seams? Let’s read the following story:

“Daniel from the sales department was finishing up a phone call when he suddenly saw a pretty girl walk into the marketing department. He wanted to meet her, but he didn’t have any information about her. He asked Henry, an acquaintance in the marketing department, about her and found out that her name was Maggie, she had a very nice personality and was currently single. Daniel was very impressed, so he started a plan to get to know Maggie, and as soon as he had an opening in his work schedule, he would use it as an excuse to approach Henry, to increase his exposure in front of Maggie’s eyes, and to wait for the best time to talk to her. Two weeks later, Daniel found Maggie chatting with a colleague in the afternoon, so he had the courage to go up to her and introduce himself, and started a conversation in the name of “inviting her to sign up for a company event together”. Although the process was a bit awkward, he still succeeded in inviting Maggie, and even exchanged her Line.

Next, we will analyze each step of the story, from the boy’s desire to meet the object of his desire to the process of the first interaction, through which the state of mind of the transition. “After noticing Maggie for the first time, Daniel can’t get Maggie out of his mind. He wanted to get to know her, but he didn’t even know her name, so how could he start an interaction? He thought to himself, “I have to do something quickly, or she may never notice me”.

He then began to try various ways to get Maggie to notice him (even if it was just a chance meeting of the eyes), while at the same time taking the opportunity to spy on Maggie to see if she noticed him. He also began sandboxing possible scenarios for their first interactions in his head, ruminating on ways to get closer to Maggie, wishing someone could tell him the secret to guaranteed success, thinking, “How do I do this without being too quick and causing her to resent it? Is there a good opening line to break the ice? How am I going to diffuse the awkwardness in case of rejection?”


For Daniel, rehearsing in his head over and over again is all about being prepared to take the initiative, because after all, the first conversation is the one that determines whether or not it will go forward. However, even though everything seems to be going according to his plan, when it comes to the actual moment of conversation, he still can’t hide his nervousness and uneasiness, fearing that if he makes a mistake in one sentence or one word, he might accidentally miss the opportunity.

After completing the first conversation, although he was relieved, Daniel still carefully reviewed the details of the conversation and thought to himself, “Although I successfully invited Maggie and exchanged lines, I don’t know if it was because I wasn’t confident or she was really a bit defensive at the end, but I always felt that her expression at the end seemed to be strange…did I say something wrong…or did I overthink it?

When a guy approaches the person he loves, every move is a challenge.

Perhaps from a girl’s point of view, the establishment of a relationship between two people starts with the “first interaction”, but in reality, guys go through many inner struggles long before they open up to a girl. Moreover, even with all the mental construction, it is still a challenge to read a girl’s mind correctly. The feelings of anticipation and fear of being hurt, wanting to get closer but not knowing how, and being afraid of being out if you take a small step wrong, may be unimaginable to you who are used to being passive! As the lyrics of David Tao’s “Secret Love” say:

Last night I saw you again, you’re still so beautiful, I was so nervous that I couldn’t even speak, I just looked at you.

I longed for this distance to be with you forever and woke up to realize that it was all just a dream.

I tell myself to calm down, but I can’t stop thinking about you. My cowardice is starting to make me hate myself.

Is it because you’re wary of me or because I’m not confident, but no one can stop me from having a crush on you.

I’m longing to see you again tonight even if it’s just a short sweet moment in a dream it’s still better than a lifetime without you.

Even if it doesn’t end happily, even if it’s a dead end, I’ll give you all my sincerity, if I can touch you.

I’m willing to

How can a girl respond to a guy approaching her?

Believe me, if you’ve never tried to take the initiative, it’s hard to imagine how much courage it would take! So the least you can do is not to take a guy’s initiative for granted. In other words, whether you’re interested in the other guy or not, you can try your best to respond well, or at least make him feel that it’s worth it.

Like the other day, a male friend of mine shared a story about how he picked up a girl at an MRT station.

Male friend: “I was taking the MRT to the gym as usual that day, when I suddenly noticed a cute girl in the train, but I thought it would be hard to get a chance on the MRT, so I didn’t think too much of it. Just as I was about to get off the train, I realized that she was also getting off the train with me, so I grabbed the opportunity and ran up to her and said, “Hello, Miss, I’m Marcus, sorry for being a bit abrupt. In fact, I noticed you just now in the carriage, and I think you are very cute, may I know you? I was afraid that she would think I was trying to sell a product, so I added, “I’m not a direct salesman or a weirdo, I just want to get to know you, I hope I didn’t scare you”.

Me: “What happened?”

Male friend: “I was pretending to be calm, but I was really nervous. She only smiled shallowly at me and said, “Thank you…but it might be a bit inconvenient, but thank you”. But I didn’t give up right away, and continued to try to start other conversations, complimenting her on her shoes, asking her why she was in the neighborhood, and trying to exchange contact information. I

Me: “So? Did you get her contact information or not?

Male friend: “No, she politely declined. But she smiled and said to me, “Sorry it’s not too convenient, but thank you for taking the initiative, I hope you have a nice evening! Honestly, although it didn’t end as well as I had hoped, I have no regrets, because I tried! And being rejected in this way makes me feel that taking the initiative is worth it! Girls, next time a guy wants to get to know you, know what to do!

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