Do you want to know how to confess your love? The answer is “don’t confess”!

Many people in China and abroad like to discuss how to confess to a girl, but from a girl’s psychological point of view, if you want to successfully chase a girl, the most effective way is actually “never confess”. You may be wondering why you can’t confess your love for a girl. What’s wrong with saying what you want? Let me use this article to answer your question, what is the impact of confessing on the relationship?

How to confess (1) – Boys are insecure in their heart

“I really like you, will you go out with me?”

Usually when a guy has the courage to say this to a girl, he has been accumulating feelings for the girl for a long time and feels so much that he wants to let the girl know; at this time, the guy also wants to know what the girl thinks about him, and can’t stand the uncertainty in his heart any longer, and even hopes to have further development with the other party in order to get a sense of security.

Why would a guy want to get a sense of security in this way? This is because everyone wants their world to be manageable and predictable. When uncertainty festers in our minds, or when we subjectively believe that something may be unpredictable, we begin to feel anxious. When a guy is in this state of mind, it’s usually the easiest time for him to express his love to a girl.

How to Confess(2) – No matter how you confess, it can be stressful for the girl.

However, I would like to clarify the question of whether or not to confess to a girl you have a crush on. I’m not saying that you can’t confess to a girl no matter what, but rather, whether or not your relationship with her is at a stage where you can do so. When two people are still in the early stage of relationship, when they just start interacting with each other, confessing is usually a big no-no. Why?

Because in the early stages of a relationship, a girl doesn’t know you well enough and hasn’t built up enough of a good impression of you, and telling her that you like her and even want to be together at this point is forcing her to make a decision of either “yes” or “no” right away. For girls, this kind of situation of finding out that they are liked does not have a sweet feeling at all, but is just a pressure.

Perhaps originally she does not reject slowly get to know you, but when forced to state their position, the original still need some time to brew and cultivate the part of the instant disappeared, the girl instead of having to worry about many aspects. She does not have enough good feelings for you, of course, it is impossible to agree to be together; but to say no to you, there will be the same psychological pressure, after all, no one likes to reject others, especially if you are not complete strangers, this will make the girl because of the avoidance of having to respond to you and begin to fear to get along with you. Naturally, the relationship had a chance to move forward, but after the girl’s heart has a lump, slowly distant, the loss is not worth it.

We can also explain why you shouldn’t rush to confess in the early stages of a relationship from another angle.

Have been in love a few times will know, there are a lot of later found unsuitable and intolerable, in fact, is because the beginning too quickly recognized the object in front of them, coupled with their own too eager for love, hoping to find a chance to quickly and the other party to show their love, to confirm that the relationship can have the opportunity to further, subconsciously ignore the warning signs observed, and even more likely to not want to be single, and overestimated the degree of their own like the other party. They may also overestimate the extent to which they like the other person in order to avoid being single again.

These are the risks of making your feelings known without having enough knowledge. Therefore, you also have to ask yourself, are you enjoying the feeling of looking for a love partner? Or do you really have the rational observation to find the qualities that you really appreciate in the other person, and feel that these qualities are compatible with you?

How to Confess(3) – Is it okay to find out the other person’s relationship status without confessing?

Most of the girls are very delicate, when you try to find out whether the other person has a boyfriend or not, they can usually sense that you might be interested in her. To a girl, this is an “indirect confession”, and she may also be put under the same pressure as mentioned above, and there is still a risk that the relationship will continue to develop naturally.

Therefore, my advice is not to ask. Even if a girl already has a boyfriend, if her impression of you is slowly improving, she may still be included as a potential candidate; if the other party is not interested at all, she will naturally tell you that she already has a boyfriend as you try to get closer and closer.

But as a male, I don’t think I can’t understand a guy wanting to know if he has a boyfriend; if you really want to know, I’d suggest a casual approach. For example, you can naturally ask each other, “What are you going to do for Christmas? If it’s with your boyfriend, then you get the idea. If it’s with a friend, you can go further and express your surprise: “You’re so close to your friend! I thought you were going to spend it with your boyfriend!”.

If the girl tells you that she doesn’t have a boyfriend, then you’ve got your answer, don’t you? If she doesn’t say anything more, you just need to continue to get along with her naturally, and you’ll find out; don’t ask questions that will make her realize what you’re up to.

Some guys may not be able to resist confessing their love, but after failing to do so, they have the idea that “it’s okay to be rejected, as long as I give more, the girl will definitely accept my feelings someday”. Unfortunately, this is a big misunderstanding.

In a relationship, if one of the partners is the one who is giving, it will lead to what is known in psychology as the sunk cost effect: the more a person gives, the higher the cost of letting go. In this way, if you are the one who has been unilaterally paid, the feelings of the other party will only fall deeper and deeper; for not in the payment of the party, not only will not be due to your payment into the feelings or feelings, but also the sense of indebtedness will be heavier and heavier, slowly due to the pressure and began to reject and you get along.

Therefore, if you want to have a chance to move forward with the girl you like, the key is to go through several stages as I shared in another article on “Stages of Chasing Girls”: from the time you first meet a girl to the time you start dating her – (1) Zero Concern Stage, (2) Non-Rejection Stage, and (3) Ambiguous Stage.

Imagine if you go from the zero-concern stage to getting to know a girl, and then from some of the interactions you have, the girl doesn’t exclude you from being with her, and you express your feelings for each other by making a ball for each other, and doing things that make each other happy, such as going on trips, going to movies, and exercising together. You will find that, in this interactive situation, in fact, do not need to deliberately through the confession to let each other know their own feelings, because in the process of getting along with each other, the two sides can naturally have some observations and feelings about each other, and then make their own feelings in response.

Therefore, what you should do instead is to focus on how to smoothly break through each stage of development, according to the normal rhythm, little by little forward.

From this, we can see that confession is not as necessary as we thought, isn’t it?

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