How to go from friends to flirting? The key is to increase your attractiveness when courting

In the previous article on Stage II “Non-Rejection Stage”, we shared that one of the key points of management at this point in time is to “add a little bit of ambiguity in your interactions”, so as to bring the distance between you and the girl you like closer, and let the relationship slowly warm up.

How does warming up slowly affect the development of their relationship? In the non-rejection stage, the girl is on the basis of a good impression of you to be friends with you, and for you to get along naturally is also quite comfortable; this stage to do a good job, and only then there is a chance to go from friends to ambiguous stage.

In this process, the girl may also unconsciously take you as one of the “object”, not only as a “good friend” (sometimes even the girls themselves did not notice the change), so if you want to go further, in addition to continue to accumulate their own good impression in the minds of girls, you must also intentionally or unintentionally create a micro-ambiguous atmosphere to create a bit of chemical reaction.

Besides that, what else can you do? The answer is “attraction”!

So what does “attraction” mean in the non-rejection stage? First of all, you can start by thinking about a question: “How do you think you can make girls change the way they look at you from “friend” to “object”?

From a girl’s point of view, if you want to go from being friends to having an affair, I think there are three prerequisites that must be established. 1:

  1. I think we get along well (or chat)

  2. I can feel a little bit of chemistry between us.

  3. I can imagine what it would be like to be together without feeling weird.

Simply put, these three prerequisites are also to determine whether you can only be friends with a girl, or can and she can advance from the stage of non-rejection to the ambiguous stage of the necessary conditions, and “attractiveness” is your key investment project.

If you want to go from friendship to flirting, you have to make her feel like she wants to lean on you.

Sometimes you’ll hear a girl say that a guy is manly, and usually she doesn’t always explain exactly what she means by “manly”. Excluding men who are handsome or muscular because of their appearance, “man” has the meaning of “male/androgynous”, which means that when women use this word to describe a guy, they are actually using it to describe a man with a set image of the male gender and role expectations, such as “know how to protect”, “dominant”, “reliable”, etc. In other words, when you have these masculine traits, you will make her feel like she wants to lean on you. In other words, when your masculinity is noticed by girls, it is usually the beginning of your attractiveness. For example:

– Take her to Shuo Xi or climb a mountain to create a somewhat exciting but not too dangerous situation; care about her condition at the right time during the process, so that she can feel your reliability; pass by a little steep or high and low places, ask if you need to take her hand, so that her heartbeat accelerates and at the same time, you can rely on you to create a sense of reliability.

– Invite her to participate in areas that you are interested in, but that she hasn’t had the chance to get into before, and make her feel like she’s seeing the world differently because of you. For example, you can teach her how to surf or scuba dive, or take her along to a hidden version of your favorite exotic cuisine. The point is that taking her to experience new areas of the world will also make you more attractive to her.

I believe that a large part of the girls are like me, sensitive to details, keen observation, therefore, I do not quite recommend that the boys in order to let the girls want to rely on you and too deliberately create a certain situation, because many times if you do not take it well, but it will make people not too comfortable. A smarter approach is that you can think about: “When or under what circumstances, you have the opportunity to show this side of themselves”, and do a little bit more in the normal interaction, and slowly accumulate you to bring the girl’s sense of security, and then into the feeling of wanting to rely on you.

Enhance the girl’s participation in the relationship, so that you have the opportunity to go from friends to ambiguous

Although you first have a crush on the girl, but also you take the initiative to start pursuing, but the girl’s degree of commitment to your relationship, also relates to whether the two can continue to develop down the road. You may want to ask, two people are still in the stage of friends, how dare you expect girls to take the initiative to participate in more? You can actually think about it from another angle. Even if we are not yet at the stage of formal commitment, since we are talking about a “relationship”, it is only natural that one of us should not be the only one to give one-way, but rather, there should be a back and forth in order to cultivate a solid foundation for the relationship.

There is a saying: “good relationship, is out of trouble”; that is, you can not always just one-sided give, but also know how to take! But of course, not to ask you to ask the girl to help you to do things, but you can create some opportunities, so that the girl in the case of no pressure, no effort, but also put a little effort. For example, in these situations, you can do this:

– Share an umbrella when it’s raining: “I’ll take the umbrella, is it convenient for you to carry this small bag for me?”

– Invite her to play basketball with you: “I’ll be there early to take the court, can you buy two bottles of water when you pass by the convenience store?

– Share your ideas on how to deal with tricky situations at work: “I’d love to know what you think, can you give me any other good suggestions?

Slowly, the girl will start to get used to the “back-and-forth” mode of interaction, which not only enhances the closeness of the two of you, but also makes her pay more and more attention to the relationship between the two of you because of the higher and higher level of involvement accumulated. This interaction pattern is not only to bring each other closer at this stage, but also to maintain a normal and healthy relationship if you want to go on with each other for a long time in the future, instead of just trying to please each other.

The above discussion must be applied only when the relationship reaches the non-exclusionary stage, otherwise it may backfire, which is why there is a need to think in stages about how to move forward. Another reminder is that no matter what action is taken, it must be done when the girl is willing and comfortable, and adjust the pace of forward and backward with the girl’s reaction.

Incidentally, some guys may want to ask: “If we are really getting closer and closer, and the feeling of ambiguity is getting better and better, is it appropriate to confess? My advice is, even if you are sure that the girl’s impression of you is not bad, don’t be too hasty! In the “non-rejection stage”, the girl’s good impression of you does have a chance to slowly turn into a good feeling, but basically this good feeling is still full of fragile, you must give each other more time, more time together, so that the foundation of this good feeling is more solid, or else this time to confess, there is a great chance that the other party will run away, and the two people from now on to drift apart!

To summarize, if you do not want to fall into the Tao Zhe’s “ordinary friends” sung in the same – “but you said I only wanna be your friend, do a friend; I’m just a friend in your heart, not a lover”, remember to not exclude the stage to the girl’s wishes as a starting point, through the interaction in the general friends! Add a little ambiguous atmosphere, as well as for their own attractiveness points, so that she unconsciously you began to want to rely on the feeling of taking the initiative to want to learn more about you, get along more, slowly transform their position in the other’s mind into a non-exclusion of the possibility of the development of the object, and at the same time accumulating the degree of trust and common memories, will be able to lay the foundation for the development of the relationship in the future, and greatly enhance the chances of entering the ambiguous stage!

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