How to start a friendship? How to Start a Relationship with a Friendship

How to start a friendship? How to Start a Relationship with a Friendship It’s not easy to be noticed by a girl at the zero-attention stage, gradually accumulating her good impression of yourself, and even resisting the urge to tell her “I really like you” many times; then, although it’s not obvious, you seem to find that the feeling of the two people interacting with each other is beginning to change a bit, for example: You send her a message of concern or try to find a chance to meet her, and she doesn’t reject it too much:

– When you send her messages of concern or try to find a chance to meet her, she doesn’t reject them too much and the interaction is quite natural.

– Compared to the previous interaction, you know that you are now officially a friend, not just a “know-it-all.

– Although it’s not frequent, she does message you sometimes, and the frequency is increasing.

– When you’re alone, she doesn’t avoid or bounce away from minor physical contact (e.g., accidentally touching her arm while walking).

If you find that your interactions with your favorite girl are similar to the above, congratulations, your relationship has entered Stage 2: The Non-Rejection Stage!

How do you start to warm up?

The so-called “non-rejection stage” should not be too difficult to understand. It means that the girl does not reject more interactions with you. It’s easy to see that the most important feature of this stage is that you’re just like a friend, and you can be considered a good friend to the girl. She’s willing to get along with you naturally, and she’ll start to give you a chance to express yourself (this is not about intentionally pursuing behavior), and will slowly observe your good traits and strengths, and get to know you better. Into more knowledge; although not to say that you have a good feeling, but if you operate well, the girl may even unconsciously you from pure friendship object, changed to include in the list of potential objects.

If a friend asks her about it, she might describe you like this: “I don’t have any special feelings for him at the moment, but at least the interaction is not uncomfortable or annoying, and the impression is not bad! Let’s just try to be friends first.”

In other words, with the foundation of good impression laid in the zero-attention stage, it’s hard to get the ticket to more interactions. What you need to do now is to seize every opportunity to deepen her good impression of you, and try to slowly convert it into good feelings. The relationship will gradually move closer and further away from the purely friendly zone and into the ambiguous stage.

If you want to start a relationship, it’s important to know how much is too much or too little.

Why do girls often end up just wanting to be friends? According to my observation and that of many of my girl friends, the most challenging part for guys is to get out of the pure friendship zone and move on to the ambiguous stage, where doing too much or too little can lead to different problems.

Situation 1: Dare not say or do anything, and end up trapped in the friend zone.

There is a type of guy who easily becomes unsure of himself when dealing with a girl he loves, so he is afraid to take a wrong step and try to inject a little bit of ambiguity into his current interactions.

As I mentioned earlier, girls usually see you as a friend at this stage, so if you don’t even dare to be more than a friend, you’re likely to make the other person more sure that you’re part of their normal list of friends. Once you fall into this position for a long time, it will be more difficult to reverse the situation.

Situation 2: Give a lot “unilaterally”, but accidentally turn into a tool person

Another situation is just the opposite. Some guys believe that as long as I work hard, she will be touched by my sincerity, so they try their best to touch the girl, warm transportation, buy coffee every day, buy gifts, invite to dinner and so on. Did you succeed in the end? In fact, it is usually very difficult.

Here we can first understand the so-called “Reciprocity” and “Equity Theory” in psychology, which mainly says: “When someone gives to us, we would like to be able to give back; if we can’t give back, we would feel guilty because of the deficit.

If used to explain this situation, we can learn that when the two are still ordinary friends, although the girl does not exclude and you interact, but “not exclude” and “have a good feeling” between the biggest difference between the two is whether there is an “attraction” between the two. In the attraction has not yet been established under the premise of just one person unilaterally to another person to pay, not only can not create a sense of well-being, but will allow the party to accept the payment of the burden, and ultimately lead to two results: general girls because of the pressure to prepare for you to stay away from; or, to enjoy being pursued by the girls, you as a tool to be utilized in the people.

So what should you do to avoid falling into these two situations?

Grasp the principle of “slight ambiguity” and you’ll have a chance to start a relationship.

Why is it important to close the gap between two people? It’s because how you and she see each other depends on the direction the relationship will take. If you want the relationship to go beyond just being good friends, and hopefully warm up and evolve chemically, it’s important to get closer to each other.

The key to getting closer is to add a little bit of pink bubbles to the foundation of the current interaction.

For example:

– Use humor to wrap up ambiguous words during conversation

  1. When a girl talks to you about the wet and cold weather, you can reply to her, “Take care of yourself, don’t catch a cold! Otherwise, I’ll have to go to the doctor with you.

– Appropriate behavior when you are with her

  1. Help a girl to put food into the bowl, remind her to walk on the inside as a gentleman.

– Occasionally, you can compliment her simply and unintentionally.

  1. “Why are you dressed so beautifully today, do you have any special activities after work?

These are the ideal ways to flirt during the “non-rejection stage” – making the girl unsure if you’re interested in her, or if she’s just over-interpreting it and feeling a little curious.

However, even if it’s just a “slight ambiguity”, there’s still one key principle: make the girl feel that every time you approach her, you’re respecting her and putting her wishes above all else. If you try to make a little bit of an ambiguous move and find that you’re being rejected by the other person, then be more subdued. If she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it and is still acting naturally, then look for another opportunity to try and move in a little bit more.


For example, if you want to find an opportunity to ask her out, but she declined the invitation for some reason, you have to show that “although it is a pity, but it does not matter, you do not need to be under pressure, there is a chance that we will meet again,” so that the other party to feel that you also have their own life arrangements, and know how to respect the girl, at least do not give a person the burden to mistakenly trigger the girl’s defense alarm. If she agrees to go on a date, don’t overthink it and mistakenly equate “a girl is willing to go out with me alone” with “she must be interested in me,” and then go on a wild goose chase and end the relationship early.

All in all, no matter what the situation is, what you do next and how much you do depends on the response you get from the girl every time.

Aside from adding a little bit of warmth to the relationship, what are some of the things you can try if you want to take your friendship to the “ambiguous stage”? What are the most important things to know about girls and the mistakes to avoid? We’ll help male readers with all of these in the next installment of our series of articles, “Managing the Non-Rejection Stage”.

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